You might not be aware of it, but books are fantastically versatile things. They offer the user tools that allow them to cope with life’s little hinderances. Beyond mere ‘hacks’, books will elevate your life to new heights at a fraction of the cost of other devices. Here are a few uses for books for which they are most ably suited:
Firstly, status. When people see someone carrying a book they immediately assume that the carrier speaks at least three languages. Can write and recite a limerick. Know how to get a taxi in every country from Zimbabwe to Azerbaijan. And can do hard sums in their heads.
Secondly, defence. If you have ever faced the wroth of a librarian when you’ve returned your books three weeks late, you’ll know what I mean immediately. A hail of bookfire is a devastating thing.
Thirdly, protection. A book can also protect you from a rain, snow, hail, sun, unwanted advances, or the approach of lugubrious relatives.
Forth, shelter. With enough books you can create a nice space in which to relax, play, or even live. The Pharaohs considered using their books to build the pyramids but the scrolls kept rolling around.
Fifth, as a platform. A good stack of books lets you reach those high places. Invaluable.
Sixth, make art. Similar to shelter but with more flair.
Finally, if you run out of other uses you can always read books. I guess.
This list, while intended to be humorous, does rely on the idea that books have more use and value to us than we think. For instance, books are a shield against ignorance. They are archives of information. Books are links between humankind. As such, when we read, we learn to spot the holes in obviously flawed thinking. That’s a pretty good use.
Can you think of any other book uses, humorous or otherwise? Let me know in the comments.